The Grass Is Not Always Greener on the Other Side

Some people like to tell you more than anything how good things are for them, or how wonderful their life is. Their words make things appear much better than what it actually is, but if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture, their grass isn’t as greener as it appears to be.

I have a friend who has been married to her husband for about 15 years, beautiful family with two wonderful kids. Like any other couple in this fast pace world we live in, they’ve started to have some problems. Though problems just don’t start from one day to the next, they develop gradually. Most of what I heard from her was how other’s seem to ‘have it together’, and she just can’t seem to ‘get it together’.

Everyone has faults and no one is perfect; neighbors and friends always look better on the other side. Don’t imagine that someone’s life is better; you’ll only see the cover of the book, you’re not actually looking at the pages.

Do not turn away from your reality because you think that someone has a better or different life than you. Make the most of what you have and deal with it. The grass is not always greener on someone else’s garden.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
―Epicurus

AS GOOD AS IT GETS…

I haven’t written the entire month of December, mostly because the holidays can be so stressful. You have to think about getting the right gift for that person in your life and other family members. You have the family dinner which you’re trying to make as close to perfection as possible, along with other obligations. Holiday gatherings are suppose to be joyful and yet at the same time, they put you in a room with relatives that you haven’t seen all year, and some which you’ve tried to avoid. As if family relationships aren’t complicated enough you also have the in-laws.

The craziness at my house involved my mother telling me how my New Year’s Eve resolution should be to lose weight. The smaller kids in the family were running around the house as if they were at a park, and a few family members asking at what time dinner was going to be served. Family members talked over each other and confessions were made which I didn’t want to hear. You can bet there was plenty of wine going around, at least for me. I was so ready for it to be over with, that I wouldn’t let anyone help me with the dishes. “Don’t worry, everything will go straight into the dishwasher. You just go ahead and go home.” I was really exhausted at the end of the day.

The next day I received a call from my mom saying how well everything went.

The following week I received a card from my nephew who broke my glass snowman that hung on my Christmas tree, and a call from my aunt asking me for the cranberry recipe (which came from Publix).

At the end of the day you realize you can’t make everyone happy. There’s no such thing as the perfect family dinner, and the people that come to your house to share a holiday dinner are the ones who are most important to you.

And as I’m in my recliner with my feet up and laying back as far as possible, I’m thinking about my next family dinner, and maybe, just maybe, next year will still be the same.

To a friend who just doesn’t seem to get it…Move On

It’s your wedding day, you’re looking deep into your loved-one’s eyes and somehow you know that this is it.  This is the day you’ve been waiting for.

Suddenly you turn around and there they are… the in-laws.

Would you have ever thought that when you married someone you also married their family?   Till this day, I don’t understand why some of us are in denial over this; this should be a golden rule.

“You marry someone, you marry their family. You divorce someone, you divorce their family.”   

The only tide you should have with an ex and their family is if you had kids together.   If there were no kids then the divorce should be whole.

When the other person has moved on with their life, you also need to move on.  Moving on doesn’t involve continuously befriending the ex family. And what if you have a new person in your life? Have you thought about how they might feel?

To say it bluntly, if the divorce is final, there are no kids involved, he/she has someone new, what are you waiting for?