Till We Meet Again…

This will be my last article.  For the past two years, I’ve been writing about women, men, relationships and family.  I hope that all who read, enjoyed what I had to say, I truly enjoyed writing it.  Throughout this time, most of the things you’ve read, you’ve already known, it’s just that sometimes hearing it from someone else confirms what you’ve already known.  Don’t know if this makes much sense to you.  I encourage you not give up on love or finding that someone in your life.  If a relationship is not working for you, don’t be scared to venture and look for someone else.  I believe that we are all born with a destiny and that there are two paths to take, it’s your choice to decide. 

If you are in a relationship, do special things for the other person that you’ll know he or she will notice. Have passion in your relationship as well as in your life.  How wonderful it is to live the passion of it. 

For relationships that have found love and lost it, how lucky you have been to have experienced it.  For reality is that some of us never find it. 

And for those who are still waiting to find love, don’t get discouraged because it will happen.  When you find someone who loves you for who you are, what an amazing experience you will have.

LIVE LIFE, BE HAPPY, AND ENJOY IT!

Take me out to the ball game….

First Base– This would be the first 3 months of a relationship. According to a good friend of mine, as “He” so called it, the honeymoon is over with after the third month. 

“If a girl starts out all casual with a guy and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a relationship, it will never become a relationship. If you give the guy the impression that casual is okay with you, that’s all he’ll ever want. Be straight with him from the start. If he gets scared and runs away, he wasn’t right for you.” ― Susane Colasanti

Second Base– Is considered the 6 months into the relationship where things start getting serious. When this second base starts, it’s when women want more than just to be a “cool chic” to go out with. 

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” ― Peter F. Drucker

Third Base– By the time you reach this 3^rd base, you should be 9 months into the relationship.  The relationship should be fully established.  Though you start to think if the past 6 months were worth it and if you can tolerate each other.   Remember in this base that “Desire” is the key to motivation. 

Home Plate– If you’ve made it this far, you have reached your full year, you are definitely ready to move on. At this point, you are both agreeing to share your lives together.  Remember that connections are made with the heart.  If you’ve struggled to get to this stage and the relationship has been like a rollercoaster ride, run and run fast.  If you are not sure at this point, do not stay with him/her for all the wrong reasons. 

“I didn’t think I belonged here in her world, a boy stuck between two lives, dragging the dangers of the wolves with me, but when she said my name, waiting for me to follow, I knew I’d do anything to stay with her.” ― M. Stiefvater

 

Can’t a Girl Dream?

I work in an office that’s about 80% women. And as women, we talk all the time, mostly about men. All the things I hear are basically the same things. The conversations are not about the dream home with a white picket fence, it’s about having someone to love and someone that will love you back. They want romance, or at least some romance, not a man that is clueless. I know that some men can be clueless when it comes to relationships. I read in an article that romance can be taught and trained, but if you like someone and you are really into that person, shouldn’t the romance just come naturally?

How wonderful could it be to have a man give you a call in the morning just to say hello and tell you that you’ve been on his mind since he woke up. Or just to have him call you in the middle of the afternoon at work just for one minute to hear your voice. Words have power.

I know that men and women think of romance differently, but can two people with such different perspectives have their expectations met?

When He Disappoints You…

First I’d like to start by saying that while many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon closer inspection, there can be warning signs that you should avoid a relationship with this person. After so much, ‘the we need to communicate talk, because I can’t read your mind.’ The communication should be balanced. And if a man says to you, ‘I’m a grown man and didn’t know I needed to report to you’. OMG…did he just say that, No Way! Whatever happened to some plain old common courtesy?

Second, If you feel that you are over calling or texting, than you probably are. Take a break and see if ‘He’ starts calling and putting an effort. If he doesn’t, Move On Sister! You deserve someone who wants to call you, talk to you and spend time with you.

Don’t let a man become the center of your universe. Apparently it’s a bad thing.

The Grass Is Not Always Greener on the Other Side

Some people like to tell you more than anything how good things are for them, or how wonderful their life is. Their words make things appear much better than what it actually is, but if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture, their grass isn’t as greener as it appears to be.

I have a friend who has been married to her husband for about 15 years, beautiful family with two wonderful kids. Like any other couple in this fast pace world we live in, they’ve started to have some problems. Though problems just don’t start from one day to the next, they develop gradually. Most of what I heard from her was how other’s seem to ‘have it together’, and she just can’t seem to ‘get it together’.

Everyone has faults and no one is perfect; neighbors and friends always look better on the other side. Don’t imagine that someone’s life is better; you’ll only see the cover of the book, you’re not actually looking at the pages.

Do not turn away from your reality because you think that someone has a better or different life than you. Make the most of what you have and deal with it. The grass is not always greener on someone else’s garden.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
―Epicurus

The Perfect Man…

Women may dream about finding prince charming, but does he really exist?  Some of us spend our whole lives searching for the perfect man, though each of us have our own ideas of what a perfect man should be or should look like.  Women’s taste changes as we get older and our idea of a ‘perfect man’ could exist for every stage in our lives.

Example:  As a man matures, it’s important for him to be well educated, hard working, as opposed to being an athletic or good looking.  Also someone that is honest and trusting are two important factors along with communication.  So as a woman, what is it exactly that we are searching for?

Do we really need a perfect man or do we just need a special guy who can accept us the way we are and makes us feel special? I know that I am not perfect, I think that none of us are, we should just look for someone who can make us happy.   And if you are with someone, and that person doesn’t make you happy, maybe you just haven’t met him yet.

P.S.

To the one I love, you might not be the ‘Perfect Man’, but you are definitely the perfect man for me.

A Gift of Knowledge

For some of us staying single is great time to focus on your career, it’s a great time to mold and shape your life and pursue your dreams.  You will definitely have more time for yourself and appreciate your independence more.  Living the single life gives you the opportunity to discover yourself and figure out what you truly want in a partner.  That does not mean in anyway creating a checklist, Please do not create a checklist, you will never find a person that will fit all your criteria’s from a checklist.  And the last advantage of being single is that it will make you more complete, which is a great card to hold when you decide to enter the dating world.

At the same time, don’t lose the opportunity of finding someone that will fill the inner emptiness and will give you the love you’ve been searching for.  If you’ve found someone that completes you, don’t lose that opportunity.  Find someone that brings out the best you, someone you can trust and that there’s no second guessing.  Have a solid understanding of what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like; have fun and add playfulness to spice the relationship.  And always remember, communication is always the key to any great relationship.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

Nothing wrong with a little experiment

Lots of friends seem to be starting the New Year with online dating.  I’ve never been a true fan of it, though I am beginning to understand why it’s getting more and more attention.

As I thought about it more and more, I realized a few things.  I was scared about running into the so called “Liars”.  Then you have the crazy people, the morons, and the perverts.  Afterwards I realized, it would probably be the same people that you could be introduced to at a party, by a friend, or on a blind date.  So what really separates the online daters with the off line daters?  Nothing at all.

Then you have the dreamers, the ones that just do nothing at all waiting for their soul mates to come knocking at their door.  I think every woman goes through this at one point in their lives.  What are we thinking?

On line dating has become a way to meet people that are not available in your everyday life, especially if your everyday life consists of work, work, and more work.  You need to find a balance in life, you need to get out and have a little fun. Are we starting to accept on line dating more and more as a way to meet people? It sure seems that way.  And yet, call me old fashion, but I still feel somewhat uncomfortable about it.

Be cautious, you truly never know who is on the other side of the screen.  Remember, anyone can say or write all they want on paper, even the dreamers.

Welcome to the New Year 2014

Readers:

May this year be prosperous for you and your family.  May it also bring you peace and happiness.  For the single people out there, may you find the love of your life, the one person you just can’t live without.  And for the married couples, may you continue to strengthen your relationship this year and for the future years to come.

Stay committed to each other, respect each other at all times, put each other first and remain open, honest and faithful.

Good Luck this New Year.

Why are women given the wrong message?

I love that Jerry Maguire movie when he says to her “you complete me.” Why are we given the wrong message? I think it started with “daddy’s little girl,” where our fathers not only made us feel safe from the world around us, but also made us feel as if they were our protectors. And as we grew up we realized our parents CAN help us, but they CANNOT protect us from the world around us. However, we do hope that someday we will meet our very own prince, the one person that will come to our rescue to save us in our most needed moments.

Or…does it start in pre-school when for the first time a boy calls you a nasty name and you go home crying to mom and she tells you not to pay attention, “that boy probably likes you.”

Then you move on to middle school, if a boy doesn’t talk to you, it’s because he’s shy. And then you jump into high school. If you give a boy your number and he doesn’t call, your girlfriends will say, “it’s probably because he lost it.” Or if he cancels on a date, it’s not about you, “I’m sure he really had a good reason.” Finally, you’ve reached the stage of adulthood and that’s when we learn those famous words that take us through the rest of our years, “Emotionally Unattached.” Are you kidding me? Why have we made up excuses for men all our lives? I certainly would like to know.

Is it hard not to have any more excuses?