When He Disappoints You…

First I’d like to start by saying that while many men may seem ideal after just a few weeks of dating, upon closer inspection, there can be warning signs that you should avoid a relationship with this person. After so much, ‘the we need to communicate talk, because I can’t read your mind.’ The communication should be balanced. And if a man says to you, ‘I’m a grown man and didn’t know I needed to report to you’. OMG…did he just say that, No Way! Whatever happened to some plain old common courtesy?

Second, If you feel that you are over calling or texting, than you probably are. Take a break and see if ‘He’ starts calling and putting an effort. If he doesn’t, Move On Sister! You deserve someone who wants to call you, talk to you and spend time with you.

Don’t let a man become the center of your universe. Apparently it’s a bad thing.

Feeling Safe In Your Own Zone…

Have you ever thought that one of the reasons that you don’t date is the fact that you feel safe in your own zone?  You don’t have to worry about someone turning you down or cancelling a date after you’ve been looking forward to it all day long.  And let’s not mention the emotions which you feel going haywire as you think that you’ve finally met someone special.  Suddenly the fear of dating could very well hit you like a bulldozer.  Meanwhile you just realized that the so called “fear of dating” has been hiding as an excused all this time under you trying to focus on your career and not having time for anything else.  What happens after this?  From experience I will tell you.

You meet someone that changes your daily routine, not to mention your whole world and before you realize it, you’ve just gotten yourself on top of a rollercoaster ride, that’s when you begin to doubt yourself.  The barrier that you had between yourself and the dating world, suddenly starts chipping away and you start feeling some anxiety, nervousness and  fear.  You start examining yourself more.  Does this dress compliment my figure? Are my thighs too big? Is my hair too curly?  What the heck just happened?  

At this point, you’re already in the ball park.  You have two choices.  Your first choice will be your safe zone which is quickly backing away and continuing to live the life that you’ve lived up to now, which is the life that you feel comfortable in.  Your second choice is to go for that feeling that you haven’t had in a long time.  The feeling of having someone not only wine and dine you, but having someone that listens to you, someone that you can have an adult conversation with, someone that you actually feel some kind of connection with and that the two of you feel naturally comfortable with each other.  The smile that begins to form on one’s face when the phone rings or the excitement of receiving a text message.  Scary isn’t it?  (As my cousin would say, Hell to the Yeah!)

My suggestion, make the choice that is right for you.  When in a relationship, there are going to be moments where you are going to feel scared.  It’s natural for us to feel this way.  And yet, at the same time, don’t lose the opportunity to be with someone that you really like, someone that you feel attracted to.  Just to find someone that might actually understand you is definitely worth playing in the ball park.  Learn from your own experiences and not from the experience of others.  Always remember, make your own choices and your own destiny, let no one make them for you.  Embrace it, Enjoy it, let it be your own risk, your own happiness and your own experiences.

A Gift of Knowledge

For some of us staying single is great time to focus on your career, it’s a great time to mold and shape your life and pursue your dreams.  You will definitely have more time for yourself and appreciate your independence more.  Living the single life gives you the opportunity to discover yourself and figure out what you truly want in a partner.  That does not mean in anyway creating a checklist, Please do not create a checklist, you will never find a person that will fit all your criteria’s from a checklist.  And the last advantage of being single is that it will make you more complete, which is a great card to hold when you decide to enter the dating world.

At the same time, don’t lose the opportunity of finding someone that will fill the inner emptiness and will give you the love you’ve been searching for.  If you’ve found someone that completes you, don’t lose that opportunity.  Find someone that brings out the best you, someone you can trust and that there’s no second guessing.  Have a solid understanding of what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like; have fun and add playfulness to spice the relationship.  And always remember, communication is always the key to any great relationship.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

The Online Dating Game

I have to tell you, the more I see this online dating thing, the more disappointed I get. I think it’s another way for women to torture themselves. It’s not enough that physically dating someone is somewhat difficult, but now online dating is just as difficult. Trying to meet someone in person, and talking to them over the web, trying to figure out if you or they suit you, I can’t imagine anything worse.  Let me rephrase myself, there is worse, and then comes the day that you meet each other, if that day ever comes.  Then you depend on first impressions and you give it thumbs up or thumb down.

Maybe I’m missing something here; let me know if I am.

She loves you for who you are

My Editor is dating, finally! I’ve known her for 3 years and this is the first time she has ever mentioned someone of the opposite sex. With the scrap of experience that I seem to have, because believe it or not, I do think I give good advice, she very little comes to ask me for advice. Mostly because I think that she is somewhat “shy” in talking about herself. My opinion…at this point in life, who cares. A relationship is a relationship no matter which way you try to color it.

Besides all that has been said, the man she seems to be dating is really cute and by what I’ve seen on pictures, they make a good couple. I was thinking last night how glad I am that she is dating someone that makes her happy. And yet at the same time I was thinking, I wonder if he knows how lucky he is?

Guard your heart until you know you are with the right person. When the right person is right next to you, everything else just falls into place. And the number one foundation that all relationships need to have is “Trust.” Relationships are never perfect; no relationship will run smoothly and they require lots of work, in a positive way. Find things you both enjoy doing and commit to spending the time together.

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

-Bob Marley