The Perfect Man…

Women may dream about finding prince charming, but does he really exist?  Some of us spend our whole lives searching for the perfect man, though each of us have our own ideas of what a perfect man should be or should look like.  Women’s taste changes as we get older and our idea of a ‘perfect man’ could exist for every stage in our lives.

Example:  As a man matures, it’s important for him to be well educated, hard working, as opposed to being an athletic or good looking.  Also someone that is honest and trusting are two important factors along with communication.  So as a woman, what is it exactly that we are searching for?

Do we really need a perfect man or do we just need a special guy who can accept us the way we are and makes us feel special? I know that I am not perfect, I think that none of us are, we should just look for someone who can make us happy.   And if you are with someone, and that person doesn’t make you happy, maybe you just haven’t met him yet.

P.S.

To the one I love, you might not be the ‘Perfect Man’, but you are definitely the perfect man for me.

Loving My Eccentric Aunt…

Okay, I know that relatives can be a little overwhelming and among all of them, there’s always an aunt that can be somewhat eccentric.  I happen to have an aunt who resembles Betsy Johnson, the American fashion designer.  Same blonde hair, but picked up in a pony tail and same bangs covering her forehead.   Even the style in which she dresses is rare.  She is not restricted to other people’s opinion and seems to live a free life.  Some people might look at her strangely, yet I admire her for who she is, and how she perceives life.

At a family gathering, my eccentric aunt sat right next to me and started asking me for advice; little does she know that I write about this stuff.  After many years of being alone, she now seems to be writing to a friend, on-line.  Someone who she apparently likes a lot, and by what I read on the emails, the feeling seems to be mutual.  Of course, as I was talking to her, I thought to myself, shouldn’t I be taking advice from her, after all she is about 20 something years older than me.   Something is wrong with picture?

Did I try to give her the best advice I could?  Of course I did.  Did I encourage her to move forward with her new profound relationship? Absolutely!  After all, what are the odds of finding your perfect partner after a certain age?  Relationships can be complex and tricky at times, so falling in love late in life can be so wonderful.  I’m a firm believer of not giving up on love, no matter what age.  And at the end of the day, I was definitely not going to ruin her moment of happiness.

It might take some of us a while to find our true love and sometimes a while feels like forever.  But I can assure you, that when you do find the one person that you’ve been waiting for all your life, it will fill you up like nothing you have ever experienced before.  It will be invigorating.

Word of advice, no matter what age; If you’ve got it, flaunt it! 

Feeling Safe In Your Own Zone…

Have you ever thought that one of the reasons that you don’t date is the fact that you feel safe in your own zone?  You don’t have to worry about someone turning you down or cancelling a date after you’ve been looking forward to it all day long.  And let’s not mention the emotions which you feel going haywire as you think that you’ve finally met someone special.  Suddenly the fear of dating could very well hit you like a bulldozer.  Meanwhile you just realized that the so called “fear of dating” has been hiding as an excused all this time under you trying to focus on your career and not having time for anything else.  What happens after this?  From experience I will tell you.

You meet someone that changes your daily routine, not to mention your whole world and before you realize it, you’ve just gotten yourself on top of a rollercoaster ride, that’s when you begin to doubt yourself.  The barrier that you had between yourself and the dating world, suddenly starts chipping away and you start feeling some anxiety, nervousness and  fear.  You start examining yourself more.  Does this dress compliment my figure? Are my thighs too big? Is my hair too curly?  What the heck just happened?  

At this point, you’re already in the ball park.  You have two choices.  Your first choice will be your safe zone which is quickly backing away and continuing to live the life that you’ve lived up to now, which is the life that you feel comfortable in.  Your second choice is to go for that feeling that you haven’t had in a long time.  The feeling of having someone not only wine and dine you, but having someone that listens to you, someone that you can have an adult conversation with, someone that you actually feel some kind of connection with and that the two of you feel naturally comfortable with each other.  The smile that begins to form on one’s face when the phone rings or the excitement of receiving a text message.  Scary isn’t it?  (As my cousin would say, Hell to the Yeah!)

My suggestion, make the choice that is right for you.  When in a relationship, there are going to be moments where you are going to feel scared.  It’s natural for us to feel this way.  And yet, at the same time, don’t lose the opportunity to be with someone that you really like, someone that you feel attracted to.  Just to find someone that might actually understand you is definitely worth playing in the ball park.  Learn from your own experiences and not from the experience of others.  Always remember, make your own choices and your own destiny, let no one make them for you.  Embrace it, Enjoy it, let it be your own risk, your own happiness and your own experiences.

A Gift of Knowledge

For some of us staying single is great time to focus on your career, it’s a great time to mold and shape your life and pursue your dreams.  You will definitely have more time for yourself and appreciate your independence more.  Living the single life gives you the opportunity to discover yourself and figure out what you truly want in a partner.  That does not mean in anyway creating a checklist, Please do not create a checklist, you will never find a person that will fit all your criteria’s from a checklist.  And the last advantage of being single is that it will make you more complete, which is a great card to hold when you decide to enter the dating world.

At the same time, don’t lose the opportunity of finding someone that will fill the inner emptiness and will give you the love you’ve been searching for.  If you’ve found someone that completes you, don’t lose that opportunity.  Find someone that brings out the best you, someone you can trust and that there’s no second guessing.  Have a solid understanding of what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like; have fun and add playfulness to spice the relationship.  And always remember, communication is always the key to any great relationship.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

Do women treat their dogs better than their men?

As I was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, I noticed a very beautiful young girl holding a book called “The New Rules of Attraction: How to Get Him, Keep  Him, and Make Him Beg for More,” by Arden Leigh. She looked as if she was in her mid twenties.  I wondered why she needed to get a book like that when she should be enjoying life rather than worrying on how to get a man.  I, on the other hand, was going over a book called “Training basics, Understanding your dog’s personality” among other dog books.   As I was going through the context of the books, it dawned on me that maybe this is the book that she should have been buying.  Please don’t misunderstand me, it’s not that I’m telling women men are like dogs, though some women might think so.  It’s that I have realized that sometimes, we do treat our animals better than we do our spouses.  For example :

Understanding your dog’s personality-  Why not focus on understanding your spouse’s personality?

House breaking your puppy-  What immediately came to mind was lowering the toilet seat every time a man goes to the bathroom.

Waiting at the door (dogs)- Yes, men should still hold the door for ladies.  It’s called  “8 Basic Etiquette Rules that Everyone Should Follow.”

Caring for your dog- Why not caring for your man?

Notice, dog’s don’t have a problem expressing affection at all.

Why dogs?  Because they’re cute, loyal and friendly.

As for the girl that was standing in line, if you ever happen to read this post, this is for you:

“Do not chase people.  Be you, do your own thing and work hard.  The right people who belongs in your life will come to you and stay”.  Wu Tang

P.S. I love my dogs!