Take me out to the ball game….

First Base– This would be the first 3 months of a relationship. According to a good friend of mine, as “He” so called it, the honeymoon is over with after the third month. 

“If a girl starts out all casual with a guy and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a relationship, it will never become a relationship. If you give the guy the impression that casual is okay with you, that’s all he’ll ever want. Be straight with him from the start. If he gets scared and runs away, he wasn’t right for you.” ― Susane Colasanti

Second Base– Is considered the 6 months into the relationship where things start getting serious. When this second base starts, it’s when women want more than just to be a “cool chic” to go out with. 

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” ― Peter F. Drucker

Third Base– By the time you reach this 3^rd base, you should be 9 months into the relationship.  The relationship should be fully established.  Though you start to think if the past 6 months were worth it and if you can tolerate each other.   Remember in this base that “Desire” is the key to motivation. 

Home Plate– If you’ve made it this far, you have reached your full year, you are definitely ready to move on. At this point, you are both agreeing to share your lives together.  Remember that connections are made with the heart.  If you’ve struggled to get to this stage and the relationship has been like a rollercoaster ride, run and run fast.  If you are not sure at this point, do not stay with him/her for all the wrong reasons. 

“I didn’t think I belonged here in her world, a boy stuck between two lives, dragging the dangers of the wolves with me, but when she said my name, waiting for me to follow, I knew I’d do anything to stay with her.” ― M. Stiefvater

 

Can’t a Girl Dream?

I work in an office that’s about 80% women. And as women, we talk all the time, mostly about men. All the things I hear are basically the same things. The conversations are not about the dream home with a white picket fence, it’s about having someone to love and someone that will love you back. They want romance, or at least some romance, not a man that is clueless. I know that some men can be clueless when it comes to relationships. I read in an article that romance can be taught and trained, but if you like someone and you are really into that person, shouldn’t the romance just come naturally?

How wonderful could it be to have a man give you a call in the morning just to say hello and tell you that you’ve been on his mind since he woke up. Or just to have him call you in the middle of the afternoon at work just for one minute to hear your voice. Words have power.

I know that men and women think of romance differently, but can two people with such different perspectives have their expectations met?

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…

You love him, but you spend more time crying than laughing. You’re not getting along with your significant other and yet there’s a day that you do get along; your relationship feels like a rollercoaster ride instead of being in the honey moon stage, why are you still hanging on? In an argument, he’s telling you to leave, and the next day he’s saying that he loves you. How crazy is that? Do you know what century we are living in?

You need someone you can grow with and will make you a better person. Someone who is interested in what you have to give. Someone that will bring the two of you closer together; yet I know that sometimes our greatest difficulty is leaving someone we love.

Love has the ability to hurt when it fails, and it’s hard not to take it personally because it makes you feel like a failure every time you let go of a relationship. Can falling in love be so powerful and infatuating? Is it so powerful that you fall head over heels into an obsession with the other person?

Even if you make mistakes, remember that every life’s experience is a growth opportunity, a lesson learned. Have faith in yourself. Choose to get the most out of what this life has given you, have self respect and dignity. Laugh and cry, grab a box of Kleenex and cry all afternoon if you need to. When you are ready to let go you will, at the end, he will be sorry he lost you.

Remember what an incredible woman you are and don’t forget to dance while your heart heals.

“For some reason I believed that if you fell in love it was a guaranteed thing that your path would cross with his, and I never wondered how if would feel to fall in love with a man whose future just couldn’t include you.”
― Laura Pritchett

Loving My Eccentric Aunt…

Okay, I know that relatives can be a little overwhelming and among all of them, there’s always an aunt that can be somewhat eccentric.  I happen to have an aunt who resembles Betsy Johnson, the American fashion designer.  Same blonde hair, but picked up in a pony tail and same bangs covering her forehead.   Even the style in which she dresses is rare.  She is not restricted to other people’s opinion and seems to live a free life.  Some people might look at her strangely, yet I admire her for who she is, and how she perceives life.

At a family gathering, my eccentric aunt sat right next to me and started asking me for advice; little does she know that I write about this stuff.  After many years of being alone, she now seems to be writing to a friend, on-line.  Someone who she apparently likes a lot, and by what I read on the emails, the feeling seems to be mutual.  Of course, as I was talking to her, I thought to myself, shouldn’t I be taking advice from her, after all she is about 20 something years older than me.   Something is wrong with picture?

Did I try to give her the best advice I could?  Of course I did.  Did I encourage her to move forward with her new profound relationship? Absolutely!  After all, what are the odds of finding your perfect partner after a certain age?  Relationships can be complex and tricky at times, so falling in love late in life can be so wonderful.  I’m a firm believer of not giving up on love, no matter what age.  And at the end of the day, I was definitely not going to ruin her moment of happiness.

It might take some of us a while to find our true love and sometimes a while feels like forever.  But I can assure you, that when you do find the one person that you’ve been waiting for all your life, it will fill you up like nothing you have ever experienced before.  It will be invigorating.

Word of advice, no matter what age; If you’ve got it, flaunt it! 

Cupid’s Golden Arrow

Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year and if cupids arrow has pierced your heart, enjoy the moment.   It takes someone special to capture your heart.

If you don’t have someone special next to you, remember that you don’t need to be in a relationship to celebrate Valentine’s Day.  Dedicate this time to yourself and anyone you love, go out with your friends, take this time to pamper yourself, order take out  and unwind in front of the television watching a romantic movie having ice cream and chocolates.

As for me, I’ll be watching the movie “Sex and the City” digging into a pint of chocolate mint ice cream.

Happy Valentine’s Day. 

A Word on Romance Today

Looking at the world around me, I’ve noticed that romance is nowhere to be found.  People have forgotten about it and jump straight into lust and sex and call it “romance.” But how long can lust and sex last without romance?