Till We Meet Again…

This will be my last article.  For the past two years, I’ve been writing about women, men, relationships and family.  I hope that all who read, enjoyed what I had to say, I truly enjoyed writing it.  Throughout this time, most of the things you’ve read, you’ve already known, it’s just that sometimes hearing it from someone else confirms what you’ve already known.  Don’t know if this makes much sense to you.  I encourage you not give up on love or finding that someone in your life.  If a relationship is not working for you, don’t be scared to venture and look for someone else.  I believe that we are all born with a destiny and that there are two paths to take, it’s your choice to decide. 

If you are in a relationship, do special things for the other person that you’ll know he or she will notice. Have passion in your relationship as well as in your life.  How wonderful it is to live the passion of it. 

For relationships that have found love and lost it, how lucky you have been to have experienced it.  For reality is that some of us never find it. 

And for those who are still waiting to find love, don’t get discouraged because it will happen.  When you find someone who loves you for who you are, what an amazing experience you will have.

LIVE LIFE, BE HAPPY, AND ENJOY IT!

Take me out to the ball game….

First Base– This would be the first 3 months of a relationship. According to a good friend of mine, as “He” so called it, the honeymoon is over with after the third month. 

“If a girl starts out all casual with a guy and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a relationship, it will never become a relationship. If you give the guy the impression that casual is okay with you, that’s all he’ll ever want. Be straight with him from the start. If he gets scared and runs away, he wasn’t right for you.” ― Susane Colasanti

Second Base– Is considered the 6 months into the relationship where things start getting serious. When this second base starts, it’s when women want more than just to be a “cool chic” to go out with. 

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” ― Peter F. Drucker

Third Base– By the time you reach this 3^rd base, you should be 9 months into the relationship.  The relationship should be fully established.  Though you start to think if the past 6 months were worth it and if you can tolerate each other.   Remember in this base that “Desire” is the key to motivation. 

Home Plate– If you’ve made it this far, you have reached your full year, you are definitely ready to move on. At this point, you are both agreeing to share your lives together.  Remember that connections are made with the heart.  If you’ve struggled to get to this stage and the relationship has been like a rollercoaster ride, run and run fast.  If you are not sure at this point, do not stay with him/her for all the wrong reasons. 

“I didn’t think I belonged here in her world, a boy stuck between two lives, dragging the dangers of the wolves with me, but when she said my name, waiting for me to follow, I knew I’d do anything to stay with her.” ― M. Stiefvater

 

Can’t a Girl Dream?

I work in an office that’s about 80% women. And as women, we talk all the time, mostly about men. All the things I hear are basically the same things. The conversations are not about the dream home with a white picket fence, it’s about having someone to love and someone that will love you back. They want romance, or at least some romance, not a man that is clueless. I know that some men can be clueless when it comes to relationships. I read in an article that romance can be taught and trained, but if you like someone and you are really into that person, shouldn’t the romance just come naturally?

How wonderful could it be to have a man give you a call in the morning just to say hello and tell you that you’ve been on his mind since he woke up. Or just to have him call you in the middle of the afternoon at work just for one minute to hear your voice. Words have power.

I know that men and women think of romance differently, but can two people with such different perspectives have their expectations met?

The Grass Is Not Always Greener on the Other Side

Some people like to tell you more than anything how good things are for them, or how wonderful their life is. Their words make things appear much better than what it actually is, but if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture, their grass isn’t as greener as it appears to be.

I have a friend who has been married to her husband for about 15 years, beautiful family with two wonderful kids. Like any other couple in this fast pace world we live in, they’ve started to have some problems. Though problems just don’t start from one day to the next, they develop gradually. Most of what I heard from her was how other’s seem to ‘have it together’, and she just can’t seem to ‘get it together’.

Everyone has faults and no one is perfect; neighbors and friends always look better on the other side. Don’t imagine that someone’s life is better; you’ll only see the cover of the book, you’re not actually looking at the pages.

Do not turn away from your reality because you think that someone has a better or different life than you. Make the most of what you have and deal with it. The grass is not always greener on someone else’s garden.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
―Epicurus

The Perfect Man…

Women may dream about finding prince charming, but does he really exist?  Some of us spend our whole lives searching for the perfect man, though each of us have our own ideas of what a perfect man should be or should look like.  Women’s taste changes as we get older and our idea of a ‘perfect man’ could exist for every stage in our lives.

Example:  As a man matures, it’s important for him to be well educated, hard working, as opposed to being an athletic or good looking.  Also someone that is honest and trusting are two important factors along with communication.  So as a woman, what is it exactly that we are searching for?

Do we really need a perfect man or do we just need a special guy who can accept us the way we are and makes us feel special? I know that I am not perfect, I think that none of us are, we should just look for someone who can make us happy.   And if you are with someone, and that person doesn’t make you happy, maybe you just haven’t met him yet.

P.S.

To the one I love, you might not be the ‘Perfect Man’, but you are definitely the perfect man for me.

Feeling Safe In Your Own Zone…

Have you ever thought that one of the reasons that you don’t date is the fact that you feel safe in your own zone?  You don’t have to worry about someone turning you down or cancelling a date after you’ve been looking forward to it all day long.  And let’s not mention the emotions which you feel going haywire as you think that you’ve finally met someone special.  Suddenly the fear of dating could very well hit you like a bulldozer.  Meanwhile you just realized that the so called “fear of dating” has been hiding as an excused all this time under you trying to focus on your career and not having time for anything else.  What happens after this?  From experience I will tell you.

You meet someone that changes your daily routine, not to mention your whole world and before you realize it, you’ve just gotten yourself on top of a rollercoaster ride, that’s when you begin to doubt yourself.  The barrier that you had between yourself and the dating world, suddenly starts chipping away and you start feeling some anxiety, nervousness and  fear.  You start examining yourself more.  Does this dress compliment my figure? Are my thighs too big? Is my hair too curly?  What the heck just happened?  

At this point, you’re already in the ball park.  You have two choices.  Your first choice will be your safe zone which is quickly backing away and continuing to live the life that you’ve lived up to now, which is the life that you feel comfortable in.  Your second choice is to go for that feeling that you haven’t had in a long time.  The feeling of having someone not only wine and dine you, but having someone that listens to you, someone that you can have an adult conversation with, someone that you actually feel some kind of connection with and that the two of you feel naturally comfortable with each other.  The smile that begins to form on one’s face when the phone rings or the excitement of receiving a text message.  Scary isn’t it?  (As my cousin would say, Hell to the Yeah!)

My suggestion, make the choice that is right for you.  When in a relationship, there are going to be moments where you are going to feel scared.  It’s natural for us to feel this way.  And yet, at the same time, don’t lose the opportunity to be with someone that you really like, someone that you feel attracted to.  Just to find someone that might actually understand you is definitely worth playing in the ball park.  Learn from your own experiences and not from the experience of others.  Always remember, make your own choices and your own destiny, let no one make them for you.  Embrace it, Enjoy it, let it be your own risk, your own happiness and your own experiences.

A Gift of Knowledge

For some of us staying single is great time to focus on your career, it’s a great time to mold and shape your life and pursue your dreams.  You will definitely have more time for yourself and appreciate your independence more.  Living the single life gives you the opportunity to discover yourself and figure out what you truly want in a partner.  That does not mean in anyway creating a checklist, Please do not create a checklist, you will never find a person that will fit all your criteria’s from a checklist.  And the last advantage of being single is that it will make you more complete, which is a great card to hold when you decide to enter the dating world.

At the same time, don’t lose the opportunity of finding someone that will fill the inner emptiness and will give you the love you’ve been searching for.  If you’ve found someone that completes you, don’t lose that opportunity.  Find someone that brings out the best you, someone you can trust and that there’s no second guessing.  Have a solid understanding of what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like; have fun and add playfulness to spice the relationship.  And always remember, communication is always the key to any great relationship.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

The Online Dating Game

I have to tell you, the more I see this online dating thing, the more disappointed I get. I think it’s another way for women to torture themselves. It’s not enough that physically dating someone is somewhat difficult, but now online dating is just as difficult. Trying to meet someone in person, and talking to them over the web, trying to figure out if you or they suit you, I can’t imagine anything worse.  Let me rephrase myself, there is worse, and then comes the day that you meet each other, if that day ever comes.  Then you depend on first impressions and you give it thumbs up or thumb down.

Maybe I’m missing something here; let me know if I am.

Nothing wrong with a little experiment

Lots of friends seem to be starting the New Year with online dating.  I’ve never been a true fan of it, though I am beginning to understand why it’s getting more and more attention.

As I thought about it more and more, I realized a few things.  I was scared about running into the so called “Liars”.  Then you have the crazy people, the morons, and the perverts.  Afterwards I realized, it would probably be the same people that you could be introduced to at a party, by a friend, or on a blind date.  So what really separates the online daters with the off line daters?  Nothing at all.

Then you have the dreamers, the ones that just do nothing at all waiting for their soul mates to come knocking at their door.  I think every woman goes through this at one point in their lives.  What are we thinking?

On line dating has become a way to meet people that are not available in your everyday life, especially if your everyday life consists of work, work, and more work.  You need to find a balance in life, you need to get out and have a little fun. Are we starting to accept on line dating more and more as a way to meet people? It sure seems that way.  And yet, call me old fashion, but I still feel somewhat uncomfortable about it.

Be cautious, you truly never know who is on the other side of the screen.  Remember, anyone can say or write all they want on paper, even the dreamers.

She loves you for who you are

My Editor is dating, finally! I’ve known her for 3 years and this is the first time she has ever mentioned someone of the opposite sex. With the scrap of experience that I seem to have, because believe it or not, I do think I give good advice, she very little comes to ask me for advice. Mostly because I think that she is somewhat “shy” in talking about herself. My opinion…at this point in life, who cares. A relationship is a relationship no matter which way you try to color it.

Besides all that has been said, the man she seems to be dating is really cute and by what I’ve seen on pictures, they make a good couple. I was thinking last night how glad I am that she is dating someone that makes her happy. And yet at the same time I was thinking, I wonder if he knows how lucky he is?

Guard your heart until you know you are with the right person. When the right person is right next to you, everything else just falls into place. And the number one foundation that all relationships need to have is “Trust.” Relationships are never perfect; no relationship will run smoothly and they require lots of work, in a positive way. Find things you both enjoy doing and commit to spending the time together.

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

-Bob Marley