Independent Women

Haven’t spoken to Vanessa in a long time.   She’s worked very hard since I’ve known her and has set her career goals.  I asked her if she was in a relationship and her response was, “The guy that my grandmother described doesn’t exist, I’ve been looking for him all over the world.”

Is it hard for a man to find an independent woman attractive?  Could it be that some men are intimidated by a women with a degree?

I don’t know why it’s hard for independent women to find the right man in her life.   We are not searching for Mr. Perfect, because perfection will only exist in a perfect world, but we are searching for Mr. Right.

Women want to be wined, dined and romanced no matter what the status is.

As for my friend Vanessa, I hope Mr. Right finds you soon.

How Much Time Is Too Much Time?

I was at dinner the other day with my girlfriend when she was complaining about not spending enough time with the new man in her life.  Usually women want to spend more time with their significant other.  Though for couples today it’s hard to juggle work life, family life and/or other commitments, every couple is different and we all have different needs.

If you think you are not spending enough time with your significant other, that is a sign that you are not happy or that something is wrong.  You should talk to him and come to some kind of understanding or agreement.  Spend as much time together as you both think it’s necessary.

If a woman wants to spend more time with a man it’s because she is interested.   After all, if two people are dating, shouldn’t it come naturally?

Take Me Home!

Okay, picture the scene…you’re in the car with your boyfriend, and both of you have just had a disagreement.  All of a sudden you say , “take me home!”  He looks at you and says “fine.”

He presses his foot on the petal, speeding to drop you off.

My question to you is why are you mad?  You just said, “take me home!”  The man has actually listened to what you just asked him to do.

Maybe next time you’ll think about it before you actually ask him to take you home.  And of course, out of all the times he’s never listened before, he listens now.

Men must truly be from Mars and Women from Venus.

A Single Daydream

Okay, I’m taking night classes and geez…this one professor is hot! He’s tall, black hair, brown eyes, a Jersey guy and most importantly, single.  He is soft spoken and by the way he teaches class, he has a humble character.  If every professor looked like him, I’m sure classes would be packed with an extreme majority of women.

As I’m listening to him speak, he glances my way and I wonder if he’s noticed me at all.  Of course he has, I’m sure not only has he noticed me but every other woman in the class as well, but who cares about the other women.

As I sit there looking at him I am actually daydreaming.  I can feel sometimes he catches me looking his way daydreaming.  He must think I’m some kind of space cadet. ( Have I mentioned that daydreaming allows your mind to take a break).  If he only knew the real reason of my daydreaming in class, you would think I lack courage, what is wrong with me? I could at least go up to him and say something, instead I’m as quiet as a mouse.

You would think with all my boldness and writing about relationships I’d be more forward, yet deep inside I just can’t seem to make the first move.  Does this reaction make me a traitor to my own work? I can dish it out, but I can’t take it; how can I give advice to others and not know how to take it?

Okay, he looked at me again. This time he called my name for an answer to his question.  I really need to stop daydreaming.  I need to plant my feet firmly on the ground and just stop daydreaming.

Finally, class is over with, time to go up to him, thank him for the class and quickly walk out the door.

My 15 minutes of daydreaming were up.

Just how much are we willing to compromise?

Women and men definitely don’t react the same way, they don’t think the same way and when it comes to seeing eye-to-eye, compromising definitely needs to come to term.  Why is it so hard for women to say no, yet it comes very easy to men? When a guy doesn’t want to do something, he can very easily say no, there’s no hesitation at all.  Is it because women are always trying to play nice? This is a lesson I should have learned from my friends and their dates.

It’s even harder for a woman to break up with a guy, especially if he’s a nice guy, yet men, as nice as a woman can be, if they are not feeling it, they will break up with you in a heartbeat, not mattering how nice you were to him or anyone else.  Have you notice men move fast after a split and women dwell in their sorrows? How can we be so confident in other areas and yet so brainless when it comes to relationships?

One of the things that bother me most is when I hear any one woman say to another “your standards are too high.”  Are you kidding me?  If we all lived by the same standards we would probably all fall for the same guy.  And what are women insinuating when we say that to each other, that our standards shouldn’t be high? Should we settle? Because if there’s anything that we should not do is settle.  Especially settling for the wrong guy; if you are going to settle, do it with the right person, besides you’ve waited this long. Women have great intuitions, we know when the right person comes along, we even know on a first date if it’s going to work out or not. I would go as far as to say that we even know (on a first date) just how much we are willing to compromise if none at all.

My advice: Enjoy time for yourself, enjoy your own space and ask yourself, What Do I Really Want?

Here’s my number, call me

Being single and dating could be difficult, but it shouldn’t be full of twists. We all know what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for the other, simply because no two situations are alike.

As we start the new year fresh, we also start with past lessons learned, at least that’s what we like to think. As this new year started, I learned we have dating rules. Yes, I found dating rules to the dating world online. For example, this one rule from Woman’s Day is: Don’t have sex on the first date, but be prepared to jump into bed on the third (Dating Rules at WomansDay.com). Another rule is: It’s not a good idea to call too soon after you meet.

This rule doesn’t tell you how long you have to wait before you call. And if you really like the person, and each of you felt some kind of attraction…do we still need to go by the rules?

Here’s a hint for guys: If she really likes you, she will want for you to call. She will usually give you her number for you to make the first move.

If I had to start dating again, I really don’t think I would follow any rules. I’d simply go with my instincts. I would definitely give my number out and wait for him to call. Why do we have to have dating rules? If he doesn’t call either he was not interested, lost your number by accident, or has previous commitments. It wasn’t meant to be, don’t take it personal.

As for the guy I met at the New Year’s party, here’s my number, call me.

Express Yourself

I don’t consider myself an expert on relationships, by far.  Yet somehow I ended up writing a blog on relationships.  I thought if I shared my thoughts with the world maybe it would help someone in some kind of way.

I was lucky to have a mother who was very open to talk about sex, when I reached a certain age of course.  She told me once, “while having sex, a woman is more cautious of her body than a man, and for that reason a woman can actually fake it for the first time, but if you find yourself faking an orgasm on the second and third time, then there is something definitely wrong.”  And ladies, it’s not with you. For the men out there, woman sometimes fake it to protect your ego.  And I love it when some men says, “ If my girlfriend was faking it I would know.” My response to you, “yeah sure. Try more foreplay buddy, it was too fast.”  Till this day, I don’t know of many mothers who talk to their daughters about sex. I feel that instead of moving forward we’ve taken a step back.  Why is it always so important for us to satisfy our partners, what about satisfying us?

So if a day is composed of 24 hours, and out of those 24 hours at least one hour is dedicated to sex, than it should be “Orgasmic.”

Bartender can I have the bill?

It’s been a stressful couple of weeks.  I haven’t met my deadline to write my next article, and from things that I’ve wanted to do.  My girlfriend called and invited me to a bar.  Why not, I haven’t been out in a long time.

We were sitting at the bar talking about our favorite subject, men and dating. It’s interesting the things you notice when you’re sitting at the bar.  But what really caught my attention was a very handsome tall man with salt and pepper hair who walked in with a dark grey suite.  He sat at the bar, loosens his tie and asked the bar tender for a drink.  I noticed right away the wedding ring on his left finger, which is definitely the first thing a woman looks for when she sees an attractive man.

So going back to my subject, I wondered what a married man would be doing at a bar drinking by himself instead of going home to his wife.  If I were married to that man, I’d want him to come home and spend time with me not at a bar.  Then I thought…maybe he had an argument with his wife and he came here to blow off some steam, but then suddenly he started texting.

And he started texting with a smirk expression; this was definitely not the face of a man who just had an argument with his wife.  Oh, there he goes again, he loosen his tie some more.  Then suddenly he looked at me or my friend from across the bar and smiled.  I’d like to think that he looked at me.  I have to tell you that smile, hmm…that smile showed amusement.

I was bold enough to ask the waiter (trying to get a man’s opinion), what do you think of a married man who comes to a bar? The waiter responded, “Someone told me this a long time ago, I see nothing, I hear nothing and I know nothing”.   And you know what?  I finally got it, did you?

As for the ladies out there, a married man will never give you a serious commitment, and if he cheats on his wife, what make you think he won’t cheat on you.  We as women deserve so much more.  I personally want to be with someone that will go crazy over me, not crazy over someone else.   For the woman that must have been on the other side of the text, good luck with that relationship.

Cruel Intentions

Let’s start with the definition of “friends with benefits.”  What does it really mean?  It means an agreement between two people who are both friends, both physically attracted to each other or sharing a sexual experience, and…at the same time, neither of them are committed to each other.  This kind of relationship has become tremendously popular.

Do people maintain this kind of relationship because of the fear of commitment or selfishness? If you put all the dots together you will find someone with no commitment, no strings attached, no pillow talk and no expectations. 

What happens when one person falls for the other?  If you fall for your friend and the feeling is not mutual, you will definitely be hurt and at this point you can either end the friendship yourself or both of you can agree to end the benefits part and just remain friends.  Because when it comes down to it,  how long can you last in this bnever-ending cycle?

And yet, if the other person tells you that they feel the same way about you,  if the next step doesn’t come along, then how much longer should you wait.  Why does it have to be you the one waiting?  It should be the other person waiting for you to decide.  (Women be bold and Men be brave)

How do you know when it’s time to commit?  Maybe the thought of the one you love naked in someone else’s bed will make you think about moving to the next step.  Do we get so wrapped up in other people’s emotional babble that we’ve forgotten what it is we are looking for? 

Do you have the exact love life you want?  Whatever your love life is, you should make the choice for it to be better.  The decision is definitely yours.

Nothing Sexier Than a Man Doing Laundry

When I think of the sexiest man alive, I immediately visualize George Clooney, or someone like David Beckham.  Though in reality, everyone in my household knows that I live and breathe George Clooney. Relationships have changed and we live in a different world, way different from the old days when women were supposed to do every household chore.  Today, there is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man helping out around the house, except for George Clooney, or course.

I guess men have realized that it does take two to tango.  Men are helping more at home by cooking, cleaning, doing groceries and even taking care of the kids.

Women actually get turned on by seeing men do housework.  And guess what?  You are actually reducing some of the stress around the house for the woman.  That means that you might hear less the words “honey, I’m too tired tonight or I have a headache”.

So for the men out there, helping around the house does have benefits.

My exception…George Clooney.